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  July 25, 2008

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Ghareloo Nuskha for High Blood Pressure
Fruits such as mausami, orange, peaches (aaru), plum (aloo bukhara), watermelon (tarbooz) are also beneficial.

Vote

Voting results :

WhatPercentageVotes
Yes
51.3 % 		60
No
18.8 % 		22
Sometime
14.5 % 		17
Don't know
6.0 % 		7


 
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Jokes
A man checked into a hotel. There was a computer in his room, So he decided to send an e-mail to his wife. However, he accidentally Typed wrong e-mail address, and without realizing his error, he sent the e-mail. Meanwhile.....somewhere in Houston, a widow had just returned home from her husband's funeral. The widow decided to check her e-mail, expecting messages from relatives and friends. After reading the first message, she fainted. The widow's son rushed into the room, found his mother on the floor, and saw the computer screen which read: To: My Loving Wife Subject: I've Reached Date: 16 May 2002 I know you're surprised to hear from me. They have computers here now, and you are allowed to send e-mails to your loved ones. I've just reached and have been checked in. I see that everything has been prepared for your arrival tomorrow. Looking forward to seeing you then! Hope your journey is as uneventful as mine was.
Rules for Females: Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. Birthdays, Valentines, and Anniversaries are not quests to see if we can find the perfect present yet again! Sometimes, we are not thinking about you. Live with it. Do not ask us what we are thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as navel lint, the shotgun formation, and NASCAR. Sunday = sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be. Shopping is NOT a sport, and no, we are never going to think of it that way. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine. Really. Crying is blackmail. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work. Strong hints do not work. Obvious hints do not work. Just say it! We don't remember dates. Mark birthdays and anniversaries on a calendar. Remind us frequently beforehand. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor. Check your own oil! Please. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys.
Top Ten Ways To Recognize an NRI: (May not apply towards NRIs returning from Gulf) 10. One who requests the autorickshaw driver to drive slowly and clutches the seat-cushion nervously. 9. One who just bought a case of Bisleri mineral water. 8. One who gets upset if the train is only six hours behind schedule. 7. One who is nervously gazing at the Green channel at the Customs clearance of airport. 6. One who prefers eating fruits to Poori at the train stations. 5. Basically, any man who is changing a baby's diaper. 4. One who does not wait, for the coolie at the train station, and hauls his/her own 30" suitcase. 3. One who feels embarassed to run after the railway conductor, for reservation. 2. One who says, "say cheese" when taking a picture. 1. One who has gained more FREQUENT FLYER mileage from trips to the toilet.
Difference between Men and Women is that A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband. A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
sardarji, having bought a new phone with the latest model of answering machine had to disconnect it the very next day. He was very disturbed when he heard his friend say, "abey, phone utha ke bolta hai ghar pe nahin hoon".
A desi was filling up an application form for a job. He promptly filled the columns titled NAME, AGE, ADDRESS etc. Then he came to the column Salary Expected. He was not sure as to what to be filled there. After much thought he wrote : Yes
What will you do to make a sardarji laugh on sunday? Simple, tell him a joke on wednesday.
How many sardarjis will be needed to put a nail in wall? Hundreds. Ask why? One sardar ji holds nail against wall and the rest will push the wall from other side.
Once Laloo Yadav, Sonia Gandhi, a saint and a schoolboy were traveling by a private plane. Suddenly the engine caught fire and the pilot came out shouting," This plane is going to crash! And we have only four parachutes and there are five of us in the plane. Since I am a very important pilot I am taking one parachute and getting out of here." Saying this he rushed to the luggage area grabbed one parachute and jumped off the plane. Sonia Gandhi said," Since I am the future Prime Minister of India I am very important and have to live!" She also grabbed a parachute and jumped. Laloo Yadav said,"I am the king-maker of this country, the most honest politician of India and above all the most intelligent person living in this country, and the most intelligent person must live!" Saying so Laloo went to the luggage area, grabbed one and jumped off the plane. The old saint said to the school boy,"There is only one parachute left, and there are two of us. I am an old man and don't need to live any more. You take the last parachute and jump." The school boy said,"Don't worry! There are still two parachutes left with us! The most intelligent person, Laloo Yadav, jumped off the plane with my school bag!"
a sardar got the 4th child. He fills data in the birth certificate: "Mother: sardar. Father: sardar. Kid: Chinese." "How come you write "Chinese" when both parents are sardar?" "Aah, sardar read a newspaper, it says that every 4th person born on the Earth now is a Chinese."
Banta Singh finished his English exam and came out. His friends asked him how did he do his exam, for that he replied "Exam was okay, but for the past tense of THINK, I thought, thought, thought ... and at last wrote - THUNK !!!"
One Japanese visits America, on his way to hotel from airport, he hires a taxi. He saw a overtaking Toyota and shouts "Toyota, made is Japan.. very fast.. very fast..". Then he saw Honda and leans out of window and shouts loudly "Honda.. made in Japan.. very fast.. haha.." annoying the driver. When he reaches hotel, asks the taxi driver about the bill. Driver says "500 dollars!!". Japanese shocked and asks that its too much. Then driver says "This meter.. made in Japan.. very fast.. very fast".
An Indian dies and goes to hell. There he finds that there is a different hell for each country. He goes to the German hell and asks, "What do they do here?" He is told, "First they put you in an electric chair for an hour. Then they lay you on a bed of nails for another hour. Then the German devil comes in and whips you for the rest of the day." The man does not like the sound of that at all, so he moves on. He checks out the USA hell as well as the Russian hell and many more. He discovers that they are all more or less the same as the German hell. Then he comes to the Indian hell and finds that there is a long line of people waiting to get in. Amazed, he asks, "What do they do here?" He is told, "First they put you in an electric chair for an hour. Then they lay you on a bed of nails for another hour. Then the Indian devil comes in and whips you for the rest of the day." But that is exactly the same as all the other hells - why are there so many people waiting to get in?" Because maintenance is so bad that the electric chair does not work, someone has stolen all the nails from the bed, and the devil is a former Govt servant, so he comes in, signs the register and then goes to the canteen..."
A Gujju Couple were sitting at the breakfast table and the husband was reading the ads in the paper. He looked up and said, "Here is a great sale on tires!" His wife replied, "What do you want tires for? You don't have a car." He came back with, "I don't complain when you go out and buy a new bra!"
A boy goes to his mother one day with a puzzled look. "Mom, why is my bigger brother named Thunderstorm?" She told him, "Because he was conceived during a mighty storm." Then he asked, "Why is my sister named Cornflower?" She replied, "Well, your father and I were in a cornfield when we made her." "And why is my other sister called Moonchild?" "Because we were watching the moon landing while she was conceived." Thoughtfully, Mother paused and asked her son, "Tell me, Broken Rubber, why are you so curious?"
Mr.. Verma comes home one night, and his wife throws her arms around his neck: "I have great news: I'm a month overdue. I think we're going to have a baby! The doctor gave me a test today, but until we find out for sure, we can't tell anybody." The next day, Mrs..Verma receives a telephone call from British Gas because the electricity bill has not been paid. " Am I speaking to Mrs..Verma ? " "Yes...... speaking" British Gas guy, "You'rea month overdue, you know!" "How do YOU know?" stammers the young woman. "Well, ma'am, it's in our files!" says the British Gas guy . "What are you saying? It's in your files ...... HOW ?????" " Yes ............. We have a system of finding out who's overdue " " GOD !!!!!!......... this is too much.........." "Madam, I am sorry...... I am following orders.... I have to inform you are overdue" I know that ....... let me talk to my husband about this tonight.....he will speak to your company tomorrow " That night, she tells her husband about the visit, and he, mad as a bull, rushes to British Gas office the next day morning. "What's going on? You have it on file that my wife is a month overdue? What business is that of yours?" the husband shouts. "Just calm down," says the lady at the reception at British Gas, "it's nothing serious. All you have to do is pay us." "PAY you? and if I refuse?" "Well, in that case, sir, we'd have no option but to cut yours off." "And what would my wife do then?" the husband asks. "I don't know. I guess she'd have to use a candle."
Three guys were pulled out of detective training for special attention,because they were not very bright. The police chief was interrogating them to determine if they were smart enough to become detectives. If not, they couldn't continue with the training. Things had not gone well so far. To test their skills in recognizing a suspect, he shows the first detective a picture for five seconds and then hides it. "This is your suspect, how would you recognize him?" The first guy answers, "That's easy, we'll catch him fast because he only has one eye!" The policeman says, "Well...uh...that's because the picture only shows his PROFILE." Slightly flustered by this ridiculous response, he flashes the picture for five seconds at the second guy and asks him, "This is your suspect, how would you recognize him?" The second guy laughs, rolls his eyes and says, "Ha! He'd be too easy to catch because he only has one ear!" The policeman angrily responds, "What's the matter with you two? Of course only one eye and one ear are showing because it's a picture of his PROFILE! Is that the best answer you can come up with?" Extremely frustrated at this point, he show the picture to the third guy and in a very testy voice asks, "This is your suspect, how would you recognize him?" He quickly adds, "..think hard before giving me a stupid answer." The guy looks at the picture intently for a moment and says, "Hmmmm... the suspect wears contact lenses." The policeman is surprised and speechless because he really doesn't know himself if the suspect wears contacts or not. "Well that is an interesting answer... wait here a few minutes while I check this file and I'll get back to you on that." He leaves the room and goes into his office, checks the suspect's file in his computer, and comes back with a beaming smile on his face. "Wow, I can't believe it..it's true! The suspect does in fact wear contacts. Good Work! How were you able to make such an astute observation?" "That's easy," the guy replied. "He can't wear regular glasses because he only has one eye and one ear."
A college professor asked his class a question. "If Philadelphia is 100 miles from New York and Chicago is 1000 miles from Philadelphia and Los Angles is 2000 miles from Chicago, how old am I?" One student in the back of the class raised his hand and when called upon said "Professor you're 44.." The Professor said "You're absolutely correct, but tell me, how did you arrive at the answer so quickly?" The student said. "You see professor, I have a brother; he's 22, and he's half nuts . . ."
One day sardarji was sitting in his office on the thirteenth floor of a building when a man came running in to his office and shouted "Santa singh your daughter Preeto just died in an accident" ....... Since Sardarji was in panic. Not knowing what to do he jumped from his office window while comming down when he was near the tenth floor he remembered he didn't have a daughter named Preeto. when he was near the fifth floor he remembered he was not married. when he was about to hit the ground he remembered he was not Santa Singh.
Here's the untold secret of married life....!!! A couple was celebrating their golden wedding anniversary. Their domestic tranquillity had long been the talk of the town. "What a peaceful & loving couple!" A local newspaper reporter was inquiring as to the secret of their long and happy marriage. "Well, it dates back to our honeymoon," explained the man. "We visited the Grand Canyon and took a trip down to the bottom on the canyon by horse. We hadn't gone too far when my wife's horse stumbled. My wife quietly said, 'That's once'." "We proceeded a little further and the horse stumbled again. Once more my wife quietly said, 'That's twice.' "We hadn't gone a half-mile when the horse stumbled the third time. My wife quietly removed a revolver from her purse and shot the horse dead. "I started an angry protest over her treatment to the horse, while I was shouting; She looked at me, and quietly said, 'That's once'. " "And we lived happily ever after."
One young man went for an IAS Interview. "When did India get independence" He was asked. "The efforts began many years earlier and final result was in 1947" He replied. "Who was responsible for our independence". "There were so many. Whom to mention. If I name one it will be a injustice to another. " he replied. "Is corruption the number one enemy in our country". "Some research is going on the subject and I can answer with certainty only after seeing the report" He replied. The interview board was very pleased with his original and thoughtful answers and asked him not to reveal the questions to others, since they were planning to ask the same questions. When he went out naturally others were curious to know what was asked. He politely declined, but one persistent Sardar would not leave him. "At least tell me the answers" he pleaded, and our friend obliged.Then it was the turn of this Sardar. When he went inside, since his resume was slightly illegible, the board member asked him. "By the way, what is your date of birth" He replied, "The effort began many years earlier and final result was in 1947." Somewhat puzzled, they asked another clarification. "What is your fathers name" He replied, "There were so many. whom to mention. If I name one it will be injustice to another." The interviewer was incensed. "Hey! are you mad or what" He replied. "Some research is going on the subject. I can answer with certainty only after seeing the report."
A married man was having an affair with his secretary. One day, their passions overcame them and they took off for her house, where they made passionate love all afternoon. Exhausted from the wild sex, they fell asleep, awakening around 8:00 pm. As the man threw on his clothes, he told the woman to take his shoes outside and rub them through the grass and dirt. Mystified, she nonetheless complied. He slipped into his shoes and drove home. "Where have you been?" demanded his wife when he entered the house. "Darling, I can't lie to you. I've been having an affair with my secretary and we've been having sex all afternoon. I fell asleep and didn't wake up until eight o'clock." The wife glanced down at his shoes and said, "You lying bastard! You've been playing golf!".
Jugnu Singh with two red ears went to his doctor. The doctor asked him what had happened to his ears and he answered, I was ironing a shirt and the phone rang but instead of picking up the phone I accidentally picked up the iron and stuck it to my ear." "Oh Dear!" the doctor exclaimed in disbelief. "But...what happened to your other ear?"
sardarji is not sleeping with his wife! these days because somebody had told him that it is wrong to sleep with married women
Our hero ? just out of college - joined a big Multi National Company as a trainee. On his first day he dialed the pantry and shouted into the phone, "Abey ! Get me a coffee quickly!" The voice from the other side responded, "You fool you've dialed the wrong extension! Do you know who you're talking to, dumbo?" "No", replied the trainee. "It's the Managing Director of the company, you fool!" The trainee shouted back,"And do you know who YOU are talking to, you fool?" "No." replied the Managing Director. "Good!" replied the trainee and put down the phone!
Santa Singh at an interview: Question: What is Ford? Santa: Gaddi!!! Question: Good, what is Oxford? Santa: Bailgaddi!
An Indian and an American are seated next to each other on a flight from Los Angeles to New York. The American asks if he would like to play a fungame. The Indian, tired, just wants to take a nap, so he politely declines and rolls over to the window to catch a few winks. The American persists and explains that the game is easy and a lot of fun. He says, "I ask you a question, and if you don't know the answer, you Pay me five dollars, and vice versa." Again, he (Indian) declines and tries to get some sleep. The American, now agitated, says, "Okay, if you don't know the answer, you pay me $5,and if I don't know the answer, I will pay you $500." This catches the Indians's attention and, figuring there will be no end to this torment, agrees to the game. The American asks the first question: "What's the distance from the earth to the moon?" The Indian doesn't say a word, reaches into his wallet, pulls out a $5.00 bill, and hands it to the American. "Okay," says the American, "your turn". The Indian asks, "What goes up a hill with three legs and comes down with four legs?" The American, puzzled, takes out his laptop computer & searches all his preferences........ no answer. He taps into the air phone with his modem and searches the Internet and the Library of Congress... no answer. Frustrated, he sends e-mails to all his friends and coworkers but to no avail. After an hour, he wakes the Indian and hands him $500. The Indian thanks him and turns back to get some more sleep. The American, who is more than a little miffed, stirs the Indian and asks, "Well, what's the answer?" Without a word, the Indian reaches into his purse, hands the american $5, and goes back to sleep!
***How Laloo Fixes his Son’s Marriage**** Laloo Prasad Yadav talks to his son. Laloo: I want you to marry a girl of my choice Son : "I want to choose my own bride". Laloo : "But the girl is Ambani's daughter." Son : "Well, in that case...... Yes" Next Laloo approaches Mukesh Ambani Laloo : "I have a husband for your daughter." Ambani : "But my daughter is too young to marry." Laloo : "But this young man is a vice-president of the World Bank." Ambani : "Ah, in that case.....Yes" Finally Laloo goes to see the president of the World Bank. Laloo : "I have a young man to be recommended as a vice-president." President :"But I already have more vice-presidents than I need." Laloo : "But this young man is Ambani's son-in-law." President : "Ah, in that case.......Yes." This is how marriage is fixed!!!
A Paki, Bangladeshi and an INDIAN are in a bar one night having a beer. The Paki drinks his beer and suddenly throws his glass in the air, pulls out a gun and shoots the glass to pieces. He says "In Islamabad our glasses are so cheap that we don't need to drink from the same one twice." The Bangladeshi [obviously impressed by this] drinks his beer, throws his glass into the air, pulls out his gun and shoots the glass to pieces. He says "In Dhaka we have so much sand to make the glasses that we don't need to drink out of the same glass twice either." The Indian, cool as a cucumber, picks up his beer and drinks it, throws his glass into the air, pulls out his gun and shoots the Paki and Bangladeshi. He says "In Delhi we have so many Paki and Bangladeshi that we don't need to drink with the same ones twice."
Sardarji fixed an answering machine at home. Two days later he disconnected it because he was getting complaints like "Saala phone utha ke bolta hai ghar pe nahin hai."
Santa Singh applied for an engineering position at DEMAN CONSTRUCTION office in Amritsar. Reddy from Chennai applied for the same job and both applicants having the same qualifications were asked to take a test by the Department manager Mr. Arvin Singh. Upon completion of the test, the results showed that both men only missed one of the questions. The manager went to Santa and said, "Thank you for your interest, but we've decided to give the job to Reddy". Santa: And why would you be doing that? We both got 9 questions correct. This being Punjab I should get the job!" Manager: "We have made our decision not on the correct answers, but on the one question that you got wrong. "Santa: "And just how would one incorrect answer be better than the other?" Manager: "Simple, for the question that both of you got wrong, Reddy put down 'I don't know' as the answer. And you wrote 'Neither do I'!"
Getting married is very much like going to a restaurant with friends. You order what you want, then when you see what the other fellow has, you wish you had ordered that.
A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband. A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
God asked Lal Bahadur Shastri how many children he had during his time on earth. He replied saying he had three! Happy with the relatively good family planning adopted, God gave Shastri a Mercedes! Subhash Chandra Bose is asked the same question. When he replies he had 10 children, God is a bit upset and gives him a cheaper car, the Ford. Jawaharlal is next. He decides to see what happens if he says he had 15 children, God is pretty angry and gives him an inexpensive Maruti. Sometime later the three see Mahatma Gandhi returning on foot. They ask why God hadn't given him anything. Gandhiji replied with anger, "Some idiot told God that I was the FATHER OF THE NATION!"